COVID-19

August 23, 2020July 3, 2023Leave a comment

What is your monkey mind trying to tell you?

Over the course of the last 6 months or so, we all experienced the notion of being collectively grounded. We were forbidden to leave our place of residence except for required activities. By definition, positive reinforcement was revoked and privileges were taken away. We have been tip-toeing around to ensure our punishment is not prolonged, or perhaps even rebelling a little as an act to defend our civil liberties.

During this time, we were told to wear masks, while hearing rumors of mask-related co2 poisoning. We were told to accept hand sanitizer as our new best friend, then hearing that soap and water was the only efficacious option. We were told covid-19 was being transmitted via respiratory droplets, while we questioned the risk of airborne transmission. We have absorbed so much information and anxiously waited for consensus, consistency and direction. At this point, it’s okay to feel a little angry; it’s difficult to plan when the goal post is constantly shifting, and it’s challenging to find peace when there are so many unknowns. So where does this leave us?

For many of us, it’s our very own, once-in-a-lifetime, brand new global pandemic. So, the fact that we are still finding our feet and figuring out what to do in a world where no one has clear answers should invite compassion as we go through the motions of daily life. Many of us may feel quite alone in our experience, and maybe for the first time in a long time, have leaned into vulnerability and truly felt it, rather than filling our day with distraction. Feeling vulnerable can result from a lack of control. Not knowing what will happen next. Perhaps this shared experience will help to cultivate a greater sense of togetherness and connectivity, even if we can no longer read people’s facial expressions.

Distance is a precursor to connection, and has the power to supersede physical proximity. When you remove the minutiae of life, it allows us to give in to the sensation of timeless presence. When you’re in that space, what do you feel? If you remove your job title, which friends you hang out with, where you go on vacation, then who are you? What do you care about? Who do you care about? It’s also important to check in with yourself and observe how much you’re moving throughout the day, how you’re fueling your body, and if you’re spending enough time away from screens. When you remove the distractions and chaos of daily life, you might be pleasantly surprised by what you find.

Covid-19 to me has been like forced meditation that worked. We are all sitting in reality and experiencing each moment as it comes and goes (and wondering when it will end). The nature of our mind is to always be thinking and the goal to not let your thoughts be in control of you, but to serve you. If you don’t give your monkey mind something to do, it will be mischievous. Focusing your mind produces a finer energy, where your intention feels clearer, listening is more purposeful, and you feel more connected. Covid-19, has forced us to sit in a blank space filled with unknowns for an indefinite period, but instead of waiting for it to end, we can choose to experience each moment as it comes and goes, and make a deliberate choice as to what we would like to extract from this experience.

My vision today is…?

March 18, 2018March 18, 2018Leave a comment

“Saying “I’ll try” instead of “yes” invites the possibility for it to not work” – Unknown

FYI – I actually wrote this article around NYE 2018 when goal setting was particularly prominent. My brain was somehow still fried as a result of the evenings shenanigans so naturally I wanted to do some deep work because you know, that type of haze sometimes feels like a naturally induced psychedelic and requires a creative outlet. Also, “deep” doesn’t necessarily mean lengthy, I focused more on fun informational sprints.

Let me ask you all something. Are you currently doing everything you can to stay in the best “life shape”? Have you been working out your mind, body and soul to achieve absolute excellence? If your health went on the back-burner as of late then one thing needs to happen prior to ANYTHING ELSE. You have to forgive yourself. I know this sounds super cheesy, like, vomit on your shoes kind of stuff, but it’s absolutely vital to have compassion for your earlier self in order to avoid creating a change that’s made from resentful, self-loathing emotion. If you are feeling damaged, or flawed in any way, this can seriously impact your long-term, positive self-regard, and it won’t help you. I want to point out that you’re not alone, everyone has their demons. But here’s the thing; you CAN let go of them and repair what you think you should lock away.

So how can we derail emotional stagnation and improve our self-worth? First, we should think of the things working against us and try to let them go. Who we are in the present moment is mostly a construction of our past, which is just made up of memories. Every time someone is reflecting on hardship, it’s technically reliving those memories over and over again so it remains present, and often painful. And pain is never out of season if you go shopping for it right? So let’s ask ourselves; “What would this look like if it were easy?” – Tim Feriss – Tribe of Mentors. Seriously awesome dude. If you’ve ever experienced self-doubt, then you’ll be familiar with the concept of searching for a path forward that has the most resistance, which can create unnecessary hardship. But what would it all really look like if it were easy? Perhaps, the thought of obtaining exactly what you want doesn’t need to be anxiety-provoking. Sitting in discontent does not need to be in your future just because it’s ruled your past.

I honestly believe a lot of people search for a challenging, almost unobtainable solutions to long-term issues because a lot of health advice we are given is crafted from studies conducted around people who are sick and what they did in order to become healthier. But what if it was reframed, and research was conducted on those who became happy and healthy on their own? It’s not going to be super helpful to be motivated to do something in order to avoid the things you don’t want i.e avoid conflict/being poor/overweight. The issue with this motivation is it feels positive initially because it moves us in the same direction as being motivated through goal setting – results are still achieved. But once you get somewhere in the middle it’s common to relax because the “fear of having a shit relationship” or being “poor” or “overweight” is no longer a problem. So, behaviour changes, productivity slips, and motivation no longer exists – the person burns out from working so hard so fast that the end goal is never reached. When people get closer to what they want they can also get bored and self-sabotage because the issue itself does not exist anymore. Ever heard of people who suddenly “change their life” once they fall ill? They reach rock bottom and are motivated by avoiding illness and wanting to get better again. Once they’re not sick anymore they will likely revert back to old behaviours because there needs to be something inwards pushing you forward for the right reasons i.e instead of wanting not to be sick, just feel the desire to be healthy instead. A subtle difference that turns goal setting into an achievable long-term strategy. Bottom line is, instead of feeling motivated to avoid negative things you don’t want in your life, perhaps try setting realistic goals you want to achieve by a certain date, and once it is achieved set more, so you’re always working and you’re always excited by the process and what is accomplished along the way. Emotional stagnation is what happens during complacency. It’s far better to aim at the moon and land in a pile of shit than it is to aim for a pile of shit and hit it.

So I recently listened to a podcast where Terry Crews was providing seriously thought-provoking, original and insightful life lessons. He shared a quote from one of his favourite books The Master Key System, and it goes like this: “In order to have, you have to do. In order to do, you have to be”. When I understood this quote it transformed from being another cliché self-help regurgitation to a strangely powerful “ah-ha!” moment. Think about it for a second. If you ask yourself, “What would a patient person do?” Probably take a breath and look for positives in the situation. If you do that, then you become patient in that moment. If you ask yourself “What would a fit person do?” Likely go to the gym and make healthy food choices. “What would an author do?” They would sit down and write. The second you decide that you ARE that person, you will be that person. Terry also pointed out that there is strength in vulnerability because it is attached to courage. The willingness to put yourself out there and expose a side of you that will be judged takes a huge amount of courage. We all have enough courage to ask ourselves what we fear and to in turn attack those fears. Pushing them aside to make room for something better. If you care about something, you will always be nervous about trying and that will never go away. So you may as well embrace it and reap the benefits!

We are what we repeatedly do; excellence is not an act it’s a habit. Sometimes other people’s “luck” is their hard work paying off. Maybe it’s time to take a no bullshit approach in the new year. Get shit done even if it’s hard or mundane. Expand your sphere of comfort by being uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable usually comes from a lack of familiarity and gaining more and more exposure is what makes it comfortable. The learnings in these moments are so incredibly valuable and only obtainable outside of the bubble that we all know so well. SO many of the best stories come from struggle or hardship. I know it seems crazy to volunteer to welcome more of it, but wisdom comes from having a question for everything and seeking more knowledge. Naivety comes from having an answer to all.

Bring on the new year! I hope each and everyday you seize the opportunity to grab health and happiness with all your strength.

Where do you find your strength?

February 19, 2018February 20, 2018Leave a comment

“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” – Albert Einstein

Today’s post is about love, and why it seems to be the world’s maxim to grimace when we hear things like that. I find the elusiveness kind of intriguing. Love is a concept that transcends age, cultural background, gender etc and is something universal every person can identify with. Yet we trend away from really talking about what it means to us individually and collectively. When I acknowledged my truth around what love meant to me, it became virtually impossible to put that genie back in the bottle, and it helped me immensely. When I say “my truth”, I mean what I acknowledge as being valid and authentic. I believe every person has their own truth and there may be more than one in any given situation.

I’m not just taking above love in a romantic sense. I’m also talking about the love we have for ourselves. One of my greatest truths, was admitting that love towards myself and others made me feel extremely vulnerable and it scared me. I then realized it was actually super common for people to perceive love in the same way I did, as a vulnerability. Love can also be perceived as a weakness because you’re letting your “guard down”. There is a risk of personal failure because you’re admitting you care for something and you tried. Whether it be admitting you love another person, you love a specific appearance for yourself, you love feeling sharp 100% of the time, you love having clear skin, you love having energy to go out and be social, whatever it may be.

In a health context, a lot of “health solutions” play on our insecurities intentionally, which can make us feel like we need to change because we’re not good enough the way we are anymore. It can trigger wanting a quick fix because we just want to feel better about ourselves. So we search for a “10 day weight loss detox” or enter into a crazy workout regime to get back on track. This sort of behaviour can also be triggered by an imbalance that has just occurred. Whether due to a lack of exercise for an extended period of time and / or overeating. My problem with this is that the motivation to change is derived from a place of hatred instead of love. Instead of loving the person we are, admitting we also want to be the best version of that person, and enjoying the progress in getting there, we almost require that “rock-bottom” feeling to stimulate enough hatred to force us to act on our greatest desires. Our strength, is literally drawn from hatred, because love provokes too much vulnerability. But here’s the thing, drawing strength from hatred never actually works and you will be so unhappy when trying. Generally speaking, the pattern goes like this: goal setting, progress, results, maintenance, pack-peddling, previous behaviours resumed. The back-peddling is the first slip up, the “fuck it” moments. These occur because in the back of your head you know you have made progress and no longer have the hatred fuelling behaviour, so you loosen the reins for yourself and little and thus, reacquaint yourself with previous patterns of behaviour. It’s so important to recognize if this pattern is occurring because without change coming from a positive place, you won’t have a sustainable positive outcome and will continue to yo-yo.

For a lot of people, they almost don’t know who they are without the hatred. It’s been there for such a long time it has become engrained into who they are. For this reason, we need to recognize the pattern and disassociate. Everyone deserves to be happy for all the right reasons and believing that is possible is the first step. When you see results, remind yourself how hard you worked and how much it means to you. If you feel strange because you no longer have that voice of hatred, fill the void with something positive as a distraction. i.e if you’re at home, knowing you’re feeling pretty good about the way things are going, you’ve worked out that day, eaten well etc… if you’re mind wanders to a place of self-sabotage. Instead of picking up the potato chips, pick up a book or go for a walk and listen to an interesting podcast. Replace negative thoughts with positive acts. Get familiar with the new you, and embrace all the mental clarity that new person has to offer.

There is a distinct tension between loving and accepting ourselves and others, and also wanting to create the absolute best possible version, particularly for the Type-A’s out there. But one doesn’t have to preclude the other. We can accept our limitations and still strive to improve as long as we are okay with admitting that and being a little vulnerable in the process. Strength comes from vulnerability. Saying things like “I don’t know”, “I’m sorry”, “I was wrong” and “Thank you” literally gives you the courage you need because it opens you up authentically to the experience. This is the moment where you will evolve as a person. If we all learn to accept the things we can’t change, and work on our courage to change the things we can, we can use our strength to break down some of our barriers and create long-term positive change.

Love is as much complicated as it is fragile. We are basically saying “I love you, as long as you adhere to a series of conditions” and “I love myself, as long as I don’t make a mistake”. Sounds pretty harsh, right? But here’s the thing, behind every criticism is a wish. It’s okay to just ask for what you want. Whether you’re asking yourself or another person. Ask with empathy, and don’t forget to add a little humor. It’s important not to sweat the small stuff too frequently.

Delightful alcoholic indulgences

November 19, 2017January 30, 2018Leave a comment

“Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company” – Mark Twain

My circle of concern for this notion is getting smaller by the day (shout out to Louis CK for this commentary). But it’s a hot topic, so I do have an opinion on it.

But seriously Louis CK is hilarious, here is a link to one of his video’s: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sA38IUPN6o

So back to booze – Basically anything in high consumption has the ability to induce weight gain. However, the calorie in a cheeky beverage is not the same as a calorie in a nutrient dense meal. All calories are technically the same amount of energy, but they all have vastly different effects on your hunger, hormones and energy expenditure.

Personally, if I drink more than two alcoholic drinks on an empty stomach my appetite control switch decides to take a vacation and I end up eating everything in sight, and quickly. So I try to make sure I eat properly that day to avoid overeating.

There are two very important things to be mindful of:

1. Number of drinks consumed

2. What food you eat while drinking alcohol

There is controversial research out there discussing all the ways the body is effected by alcohol, i.e some say insulin sensitivity increases, while others say the opposite. An overarching belief that I feel is most helpful without getting too nitty gritty, is that it’s better to eat food with alcohol – it will help prevent the alcohol from rushing to your blood stream quickly. The type of food consumed should be high protein/veg, low carb/fat. This is because protein is satiating and has muscle sparing properties that won’t impact muscle fatigue as much (prevents additional muscle soreness, limited negative effect on training performance the next day, reducing feel of “sluggishness”).

Bottom line: You can be healthy inside and out while having a moderate consumption of alcohol in your diet (YAY!).

Is obsession constructive?

March 19, 2017January 30, 2018Leave a comment

“Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see” – Mark Twain

Notice the types of thoughts you are having, are they negative? Are they obsessive? Are they focused primarily on the end game? Isn’t it funny how we kind of thrive off the obsession but then when we seem to be making noticeable progress a part of us withdrawals and suddenly we have an urge to eat a bag of maltesers?

It’s very common for people to have a threshold for “feeling good”. Most of us have spent the majority of our lives working towards a goal and not sitting in the space of having achieved what we set out to achieve. Occasionally we might be feeling so good it’s almost like we can’t take it for long periods of time because it’s so uncomfortable and unfamiliar and this is generally when self-sabotage begins i.e binge eating, excessive drinking, eating food you know you’re intolerant to. Generally these feelings have very complex reasons attached to them and I won’t go into them here. But as a result, we can’t handle our “feel good threshold” because we feel like it’s going to crash down around us at some point so we self-sabotage to get in there before it does to feel in control / safe again. It is here that you need to remind yourself that you now have years of experience and a whole lot of new things in your life that will protect you that you didn’t have before. Try and hang in the space of feeling uncomfortable and learn to breathe into your new life and focus on the experience rather than being in your head and getting controlled by your triggers. Increase your “I can have this” level and allow yourself to feel like you deserve it.

Take the reins and saw as high as you can and stop war-ing on your body.

Goal weight: Sexy AF

How to avoid a mid-life crisis

February 19, 2017January 30, 2018Leave a comment

“In order to have, you have to do. In order to do, you have to be.” – Charles F. Haanel

Below I’ve listed how I think buying an unnecessarily expensive car when you can’t afford it, getting a bad haircut or a life changing tattoo post 45 can be avoided.

A little story for you …

The thing about going on a truth seeking adventure, is it can be pretty exciting when you start to figure some stuff out. You feel the need to talk about it with a lot of people because it’s on your mind a lot. It’s also kind of a big deal to you because you’ve spent a large chunk of your adult life pondering thoughts of action, then you actioned it, then you had multiple ups and downs and now you’re kind of in a happy place that you feel you’ve been working towards basically since you were little. Then you might call your Mum to tell her about it and you get a response that sounds something like “That’s great honey, I’m so proud of you” and then go back to talking about how they’ve started doing yoga classes with a friend of a friend’s neighbour. It can make it all feel a little inconsequential. But that’s the thing, perhaps it needs to be. Let me explain.

It’s all so bloody hard at the beginning. Everyone is scared of change, so other people in your life (your “support network”) may not immediately jump to supporting huge life changing decisions for you straight away. They want to protect you and anything relatively unsafe or off-track has the ability to make your life worse. They are hesitant to support you because then you will be taken out of the “I don’t have to worry about you” box and put into the “Worrying about you will occupy every second or third thought of mine for an indefinite period of time now” box. But ultimately your decisions don’t really affect anyone else, you both think it will at the beginning but it doesn’t. Life will go on for everyone, so it has to come down to what you want because you’re the one left with it. Everyone has all their own stuff going on and at the end of it all they’re not thinking about you 24/7. It’s important to remain accountable and make a decision based on what you want in your life and what you need to do to get there, anyone who doesn’t understand this path should not be walking it with you.

Really, it shouldn’t come down to needing an Eat Pray Love moment in order to find happiness. You’re whole life can be an Eat Pray Love moment if you allow yourself to wake up and see what is really staring back at you in the mirror. Learn to listen to what is in your heart and action only what feels right and what your gut is telling you. Then maybe you won’t have to walk away from it all and hurt a bunch of people in the process in order to find clarity.

I never do anything my heart isn’t in anymore and I make an effort to do small things on a daily basis that make me feel fulfilled in as many ways as possible. It started with learning to be more mindful and honest about what I really needed. None of this stuff is something you learn and automatically apply for the rest of your life – it takes a deliberate, conscious, frequent effort. It may start with you writing down a couple of things you can easily accomplish that day, opening the door for someone you pass down the street, telling a colleague they did a good job or offering to cook dinner for your partner. Lastly, you could end the day with being grateful for what you have, being proud of what you’ve accomplished and setting new goals for the following day. If you do this, it almost feels like the rest of your life is a bonus. Don’t get me wrong, we spend a great deal of work shaping our career, giving time to family and friends, working on our health and fitness etc, but all of those things will be a lot more enjoyable with a strong, positive, healthy mentality, and it all takes around 5 minutes a day. If you can’t give yourself 5 minutes a day to be mindful and work on yourself, then you never really wanted the rewards in the first place.

One thing I’ve realised is many books/blogs/articles/TV shows etc all support the notion of finding your purpose; without direction you don’t have a path to walk on. I’ve read so many things about our life being a GPS and without plugging into the destination you’re just left staring at a map with a bunch of stuff on it wondering where to go next. I feel like the point of taking that perspective is to encourage movement rather than just standing still and expecting answers to come to you – this part I agree with. However, it can be disabling to think that we all have a life mission we need to fulfil, that we all have a “purpose” or “destiny’. This is a massive, highly pressurising situation and can at times feel quite intimidating. It puts more people into shock than it encourages positive, constructive, forward-thinking change.

Perhaps it’s better to recognise that you’re biggest impact on the world is giving 100% into everything you do even if it’s not the “ultimate” thing you thought you’d be doing. Choose to go out and do the things you know you’re good at, and if you’re not quite there yet then practice so you are if it means something to you. There are dreams, and there are goals. Dreams are fantasies that are fun to think of doing, generally as the ultimate “plan b”. You might think to yourself, “I don’t hate the idea of my current position falling on it’s ass because I’ll just get a bunch of new qualifications and open my own salon because that’s my real calling in life, I’m just choosing not to that now because the time isn’t right”. This is a fantasy most of the time that we don’t tend to pursue because it’s our safety net, a happy day-dream. GOALS however, are deliberate well-thought out plans that we work towards, personally and professionally. The fundamental difference is one implies an action. Everyone’s goal really, should be to find that thing they can’t imagine NOT doing. Remove the word “should” from your vocabulary and fill your life with a bunch of things you can’t imagine your life without. Things that you’ll look back on later in life and feel so proud of and willing to talk about. To me, there would be no greater fulfilment. Great fulfillment = no mid-life crisis!!

Body and Mind by Design

Thinking by choice and not by influence

Tag: health