The Journey Begins

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“Mens sana in corpore sano” – sound mind in a strong body

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Hi, I’m Jade! Thanks for joining me 🙂

Balancing the mind body dynamic has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember and I’m keen to pass on what I have learned with the goal to save others time, stress, money and frustration.

The mission is to achieve complete mind body unity. We will delve into the psychology behind eating, the most up to date info (including myths) around nutrition and methods to build a strong mindset allowing you to workout at your best and embrace growth with every step forward. We will talk about all of this to figure out what works best for each individual. If there was just one method to follow, every health psychologist/coach/advisor would be like “Here’s [this] … do [that]”. It’s within your control to design your mind and body the way you envision it to be, we just need to find the most enjoyable and sustainable path to take in order to get there.

It all starts with your mindset as it’s your control centre – control your mind to control your reality. To succeed we will create a bigger time gap between your perception and thought. I call this gap your “extremely super consciously aware gap”. Through widening the gap, you will be released from any mental imprisonment that dictates your actions. We will then focus on your body – which can act like an attention seeking little shit throwing grapes at your face trying to get you to listen. Equally, we will pay attention to what your body is signalling to fill in the gaps and discover what needs to be done so you can feel your best.

Being in tune with your mind body duo will create the strong foundation necessary for positive change. To succeed, we just need to understand the power of our own perception.

Vulnerability is hard to embrace if you’re afraid you’re going to be sucker punched

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“Vulnerability isn’t measured by the amount of exposure it has“

Today I’m writing about vulnerability and failure. How we all live in a world where we’re asked to embrace both and why that’s so challenging.

We spend a large chunk of our lives either at work or thinking about work, which means we unknowingly tie a large portion of our identity with our sense of purpose, belonging, fulfillment, success and failure when it comes to our perceived value and contribution. Therefore, how we feel at work inevitably impacts how we feel about ourselves outside of work, and vice versa. This cyclical pattern was amplified during the covid pandemic when we started working from home and the line between the two continued to blur. It’s challenging to have a tough day in the office (or second bedroom) and walk out into your lounge room at 5pm with a different attitude. Therefore, when we choose to actively work on ourselves, learn a new skill, go after a promotion, or put ourselves out there in a way that requires us to admit we actually care, it makes us feel vulnerable. 

Being vulnerable is risky because it challenges our psychological safety. We have seen time again how it pushes people into the margins. It’s difficult to admit you don’t know, or that you weren’t perfect, or could have done things differently. It’s outwardly admitting weakness, blindspots or areas of improvement. You’re literally telling yourself and others that it wasn’t the best. This exposes you, while giving others a reason to place blame, to criticize or pass judgment, which in turn is difficult to argue against after just having admitted to your shortcomings. The difference is, when vulnerability is encouraged and nurtured end-to-end, it allows people the space to discuss the inner workings of their mind, dig a little deeper and share new ways of thinking. When we put someone down for not getting it right, we destroy the path that leads to positive impact and we get stuck in an unhelpful pattern of negativity. 


I feel is timely to reference Brene Brown here – particularly in a work setting, for those who value rank, competition and making others feel uncomfortable or fearful, then it’s the type of culture that should not be asking others to express vulnerability. If you’ve decided to use fear as a tool, then instead of asking for vulnerability, you should ask for compliance. Fear is heightened when the receiver is most susceptible to pain. So if you add fear, judgement, criticism, awkward silence and blank stares into a petri dish, shame will grow exponentially. The magic cure to this is dropping in a healthy dose of empathy. 

It’s so much harder to be “in it” with the person than it is to stand back and judge.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

Self awareness is key to understanding whether you are the critic, in the arena, or jumping between the two. You will know where you sit by measuring your level of discomfort. During a tough discussion when a person is communicating vulnerability, if you feel extremely comfortable, judgemental, or better then, you’re no longer in the arena with them. 

I want to share some of my key takeaways: 

  • Different is better, than better. 
  • Difference is a feature, not a bug. 
  • “Fitting in” is the opposite of belonging.

Let me elaborate on that last point. “Belonging” is feeling accepted for exactly who you are and knowing that is more than enough. “Fitting in” is feeling like you need to change who you are in order to mesh well with your surroundings. We should all have the ability to be silly and present and have that be ok. To be able to show up happily and do your natural best. It’s not that people “have it” or not, everything is a skill and can be learned, or re-learned. So if failing is not welcomed, then everybody loses.

Practicing gratitude and joy are some of the more vulnerable human emotions because it’s more challenging to self-protect. But imagine the feeling of letting go of fear and leaning into joy, while having a supporting environment that nurtures your growth instead. Ultimately, we all want the same thing and need to work together to cultivate the type of environment that is conducive to our wellness in and outside of work. 

COVID-19

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What is your monkey mind trying to tell you?

Over the course of the last 6 months or so, we all experienced the notion of being collectively grounded. We were forbidden to leave our place of residence except for required activities. By definition, positive reinforcement was revoked and privileges were taken away. We have been tip-toeing around to ensure our punishment is not prolonged, or perhaps even rebelling a little as an act to defend our civil liberties.

During this time, we were told to wear masks, while hearing rumors of mask-related co2 poisoning. We were told to accept hand sanitizer as our new best friend, then hearing that soap and water was the only efficacious option. We were told covid-19 was being transmitted via respiratory droplets, while we questioned the risk of airborne transmission. We have absorbed so much information and anxiously waited for consensus, consistency and direction. At this point, it’s okay to feel a little angry; it’s difficult to plan when the goal post is constantly shifting, and it’s challenging to find peace when there are so many unknowns. So where does this leave us?

For many of us, it’s our very own, once-in-a-lifetime, brand new global pandemic. So, the fact that we are still finding our feet and figuring out what to do in a world where no one has clear answers should invite compassion as we go through the motions of daily life. Many of us may feel quite alone in our experience, and maybe for the first time in a long time, have leaned into vulnerability and truly felt it, rather than filling our day with distraction. Feeling vulnerable can result from a lack of control. Not knowing what will happen next. Perhaps this shared experience will help to cultivate a greater sense of togetherness and connectivity, even if we can no longer read people’s facial expressions.

Distance is a precursor to connection, and has the power to supersede physical proximity. When you remove the minutiae of life, it allows us to give in to the sensation of timeless presence. When you’re in that space, what do you feel? If you remove your job title, which friends you hang out with, where you go on vacation, then who are you? What do you care about? Who do you care about? It’s also important to check in with yourself and observe how much you’re moving throughout the day, how you’re fueling your body, and if you’re spending enough time away from screens. When you remove the distractions and chaos of daily life, you might be pleasantly surprised by what you find.

Covid-19 to me has been like forced meditation that worked. We are all sitting in reality and experiencing each moment as it comes and goes (and wondering when it will end). The nature of our mind is to always be thinking and the goal to not let your thoughts be in control of you, but to serve you. If you don’t give your monkey mind something to do, it will be mischievous. Focusing your mind produces a finer energy, where your intention feels clearer, listening is more purposeful, and you feel more connected. Covid-19, has forced us to sit in a blank space filled with unknowns for an indefinite period, but instead of waiting for it to end, we can choose to experience each moment as it comes and goes, and make a deliberate choice as to what we would like to extract from this experience.

My vision today is…?

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“Saying “I’ll try” instead of “yes” invites the possibility for it to not work” – Unknown

FYI – I actually wrote this article around NYE 2018 when goal setting was particularly prominent. My brain was somehow still fried as a result of the evenings shenanigans so naturally I wanted to do some deep work because you know, that type of haze sometimes feels like a naturally induced psychedelic and requires a creative outlet. Also, “deep” doesn’t necessarily mean lengthy, I focused more on fun informational sprints.

Let me ask you all something. Are you currently doing everything you can to stay in the best “life shape”? Have you been working out your mind, body and soul to achieve absolute excellence? If your health went on the back-burner as of late then one thing needs to happen prior to ANYTHING ELSE. You have to forgive yourself. I know this sounds super cheesy, like, vomit on your shoes kind of stuff, but it’s absolutely vital to have compassion for your earlier self in order to avoid creating a change that’s made from resentful, self-loathing emotion. If you are feeling damaged, or flawed in any way, this can seriously impact your long-term, positive self-regard, and it won’t help you. I want to point out that you’re not alone, everyone has their demons. But here’s the thing; you CAN let go of them and repair what you think you should lock away.

So how can we derail emotional stagnation and improve our self-worth? First, we should think of the things working against us and try to let them go. Who we are in the present moment is mostly a construction of our past, which is just made up of memories. Every time someone is reflecting on hardship, it’s technically reliving those memories over and over again so it remains present, and often painful. And pain is never out of season if you go shopping for it right? So let’s ask ourselves; “What would this look like if it were easy?” – Tim Feriss – Tribe of Mentors. Seriously awesome dude. If you’ve ever experienced self-doubt, then you’ll be familiar with the concept of searching for a path forward that has the most resistance, which can create unnecessary hardship. But what would it all really look like if it were easy? Perhaps, the thought of obtaining exactly what you want doesn’t need to be anxiety-provoking. Sitting in discontent does not need to be in your future just because it’s ruled your past.

I honestly believe a lot of people search for a challenging, almost unobtainable solutions to long-term issues because a lot of health advice we are given is crafted from studies conducted around people who are sick and what they did in order to become healthier. But what if it was reframed, and research was conducted on those who became happy and healthy on their own? It’s not going to be super helpful to be motivated to do something in order to avoid the things you don’t want i.e avoid conflict/being poor/overweight. The issue with this motivation is it feels positive initially because it moves us in the same direction as being motivated through goal setting – results are still achieved. But once you get somewhere in the middle it’s common to relax because the “fear of having a shit relationship” or being “poor” or “overweight” is no longer a problem. So, behaviour changes, productivity slips, and motivation no longer exists – the person burns out from working so hard so fast that the end goal is never reached. When people get closer to what they want they can also get bored and self-sabotage because the issue itself does not exist anymore. Ever heard of people who suddenly “change their life” once they fall ill? They reach rock bottom and are motivated by avoiding illness and wanting to get better again. Once they’re not sick anymore they will likely revert back to old behaviours because there needs to be something inwards pushing you forward for the right reasons i.e instead of wanting not to be sick, just feel the desire to be healthy instead. A subtle difference that turns goal setting into an achievable long-term strategy. Bottom line is, instead of feeling motivated to avoid negative things you don’t want in your life, perhaps try setting realistic goals you want to achieve by a certain date, and once it is achieved set more, so you’re always working and you’re always excited by the process and what is accomplished along the way. Emotional stagnation is what happens during complacency. It’s far better to aim at the moon and land in a pile of shit than it is to aim for a pile of shit and hit it.

So I recently listened to a podcast where Terry Crews was providing seriously thought-provoking, original and insightful life lessons. He shared a quote from one of his favourite books The Master Key System, and it goes like this: “In order to have, you have to do. In order to do, you have to be”. When I understood this quote it transformed from being another cliché self-help regurgitation to a strangely powerful “ah-ha!” moment. Think about it for a second. If you ask yourself, “What would a patient person do?” Probably take a breath and look for positives in the situation. If you do that, then you become patient in that moment. If you ask yourself “What would a fit person do?” Likely go to the gym and make healthy food choices. “What would an author do?” They would sit down and write. The second you decide that you ARE that person, you will be that person. Terry also pointed out that there is strength in vulnerability because it is attached to courage. The willingness to put yourself out there and expose a side of you that will be judged takes a huge amount of courage. We all have enough courage to ask ourselves what we fear and to in turn attack those fears. Pushing them aside to make room for something better. If you care about something, you will always be nervous about trying and that will never go away. So you may as well embrace it and reap the benefits!

We are what we repeatedly do; excellence is not an act it’s a habit. Sometimes other people’s “luck” is their hard work paying off. Maybe it’s time to take a no bullshit approach in the new year. Get shit done even if it’s hard or mundane. Expand your sphere of comfort by being uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable usually comes from a lack of familiarity and gaining more and more exposure is what makes it comfortable. The learnings in these moments are so incredibly valuable and only obtainable outside of the bubble that we all know so well. SO many of the best stories come from struggle or hardship. I know it seems crazy to volunteer to welcome more of it, but wisdom comes from having a question for everything and seeking more knowledge. Naivety comes from having an answer to all.

Bring on the new year! I hope each and everyday you seize the opportunity to grab health and happiness with all your strength.

Where do you find your strength? 

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“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them”  – Albert Einstein

Today’s post is about love, and why it seems to be the world’s maxim to grimace when we hear things like that. I find the elusiveness kind of intriguing. Love is a concept that transcends age, cultural background, gender etc and is something universal every person can identify with. Yet we trend away from really talking about what it means to us individually and collectively. When I acknowledged my truth around what love meant to me, it became virtually impossible to put that genie back in the bottle, and it helped me immensely. When I say “my truth”, I mean what I acknowledge as being valid and authentic. I believe every person has their own truth and there may be more than one in any given situation.

I’m not just taking above love in a romantic sense. I’m also talking about the love we have for ourselves. One of my greatest truths, was admitting that love towards myself and others made me feel extremely vulnerable and it scared me. I then realized it was actually super common for people to perceive love in the same way I did, as a vulnerability. Love can also be perceived as a weakness because you’re letting your “guard down”. There is a risk of personal failure because you’re admitting you care for something and you tried. Whether it be admitting you love another person, you love a specific appearance for yourself, you love feeling sharp 100% of the time, you love having clear skin, you love having energy to go out and be social, whatever it may be.

In a health context, a lot of “health solutions” play on our insecurities intentionally, which can make us feel like we need to change because we’re not good enough the way we are anymore. It can trigger wanting a quick fix because we just want to feel better about ourselves. So we search for a “10 day weight loss detox” or enter into a crazy workout regime to get back on track. This sort of behaviour can also be triggered by an imbalance that has just occurred. Whether due to a lack of exercise for an extended period of time and / or overeating. My problem with this is that the motivation to change is derived from a place of hatred instead of love. Instead of loving the person we are, admitting we also want to be the best version of that person, and enjoying the progress in getting there, we almost require that “rock-bottom” feeling to stimulate enough hatred to force us to act on our greatest desires. Our strength, is literally drawn from hatred, because love provokes too much vulnerability. But here’s the thing, drawing strength from hatred never actually works and you will be so unhappy when trying. Generally speaking, the pattern goes like this: goal setting, progress, results, maintenance, pack-peddling, previous behaviours resumed. The back-peddling is the first slip up, the “fuck it” moments. These occur because in the back of your head you know you have made progress and no longer have the hatred fuelling behaviour, so you loosen the reins for yourself and little and thus, reacquaint yourself with previous patterns of behaviour. It’s so important to recognize if this pattern is occurring because without change coming from a positive place, you won’t have a sustainable positive outcome and will continue to yo-yo.

For a lot of people, they almost don’t know who they are without the hatred. It’s been there for such a long time it has become engrained into who they are. For this reason, we need to recognize the pattern and disassociate. Everyone deserves to be happy for all the right reasons and believing that is possible is the first step. When you see results, remind yourself how hard you worked and how much it means to you. If you feel strange because you no longer have that voice of hatred, fill the void with something positive as a distraction. i.e if you’re at home, knowing you’re feeling pretty good about the way things are going, you’ve worked out that day, eaten well etc… if you’re mind wanders to a place of self-sabotage. Instead of picking up the potato chips, pick up a book or go for a walk and listen to an interesting podcast. Replace negative thoughts with positive acts. Get familiar with the new you, and embrace all the mental clarity that new person has to offer.

There is a distinct tension between loving and accepting ourselves and others, and also wanting to create the absolute best possible version, particularly for the Type-A’s out there. But one doesn’t have to preclude the other. We can accept our limitations and still strive to improve as long as we are okay with admitting that and being a little vulnerable in the process. Strength comes from vulnerability. Saying things like “I don’t know”, “I’m sorry”, “I was wrong” and “Thank you” literally gives you the courage you need because it opens you up authentically to the experience. This is the moment where you will evolve as a person. If we all learn to accept the things we can’t change, and work on our courage to change the things we can, we can use our strength to break down some of our barriers and create long-term positive change.

Love is as much complicated as it is fragile. We are basically saying “I love you, as long as you adhere to a series of conditions” and “I love myself, as long as I don’t make a mistake”. Sounds pretty harsh, right? But here’s the thing, behind every criticism is a wish. It’s okay to just ask for what you want. Whether you’re asking yourself or another person. Ask with empathy, and don’t forget to add a little humor. It’s important not to sweat the small stuff too frequently.

Hungry? Thirsty? Addicted? What’s going on!

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“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect.” – Mark Twain

How many of you view your body, your intelligence, your compassion towards others or your work ethic as being “average”? We judge ourselves as being better than a bunch of people and worse than others. But here’s the thing, in order to be the best version of yourself, to you, the only person that matters in this equation, you need to stop looking at yourself and your life on a bell curve. If you look at everything on a bell curve, logically speaking, it means you can rationalise just about anything: “I only smoke 10 cigarettes a day, it’s better than some who smokes a deck!” Or “I ate an entire bag of potato chips, but at least I don’t do it every day like some other people!”. See how this can be a slippery slope?

The reason I bring up the bell curve is because, particularly as a woman, I feel it’s in our genetics to sometimes eat a box of chocolates, black out and wake up in a Sephora. The moment of eating the chocolates t’was everything. However, after the chocolates are gone, there is always a point where our soul is like, “Should I just go?”. We go into it wanting to feel good, we action something we think will do the trick and we are left with shame and guilt. We rationalise our behaviour and try to avoid what it all really means or why we sometimes act this way, not exactly a good ROI.

Fun fact: The evolution around chocolate comes from our very first meal, breastmilk, as it contains 1-2 ratio of fat to sugar, meaning we like foods that have double the amount of sugar to fat. Breastmilk is literally the only natural food with this ratio – No sugary food i.e fruit, has half the vs sugar, and no fat, i.e avocado, has double the amount of sugar. Food industries know this, and absolutely use it to their advantage. So many desserts have mastered this perfect combo artificially to remind us of something we desire that’s so innate. If you look at ice cream, cookies, chocolate, they all have a 1-2 fat/sugar ratio. Then guess what happens?? Positive associations are made towards junk food and we develop cravings for things we don’t need in order to feel good. Next minute, you’re having a love affair with your very demanding brain.

We are all genetically programmed to store as much energy as possible and when sugar took over the world overconsumption became an increasing problem. It messed up our natural biochemistry once it became cheap and readily available. We could no longer tell when we had reached our energy (calorie) requirement. Now let’s say you choose to be a little “healthier” to get over the junk food addiction and consume an artificial sweetener instead of actual sugar. The chemical compound in artificial sweeteners are so tiny that our body can’t actually digest it as a “calorie”, but it is still absorbed into our blood and tastes 300-600 times sweeter than sugar itself. There is a famous French study published in 2007 where they gave rats the option to choose between between drinking water sweetened with saccharine or intravenous cocaine, and 94% of the rats preferred the saccharine. If you’re interested in reading more about artificial sweeteners / rat study, click here. So stay away from saccharine!!! Also stay away from aspartame, sucralose, acesulfame K, xylitol and sortitol. If you have to consume an artificial sweetener, stick to agave because it’s organic and made from a succulent similar to the family of Aloe Vera. Cane sugar and honey are also other natural forms of sugar that are properly absorbed by the body. Why should we eat natural “calorie” sugars over artificial sugars that are sweeter and calorie free? SO many reasons. But I want to highlight one in particular: artificial sweeteners supplement the addiction of sugar through reducing sensitivity. No other natural food could even come close to producing the same level of sweetness, so we crave more and more food in general. There is a calorific gap after consumption that cannot be satiated, which can lead to overconsumption, particualrly with unhealthy foods.

So what does all this have to do with anything?

Because I really hate the amount of shaming that’s associated with food. Our relationship with food is complicated. We don’t really live in a world anymore where our primal needs are easily met. We have to seek out healthy lifestyles and push back on all the money-making gimmicks thrown at us. But nothing has actually changed. We all need to keep eating the same healthy, varied, organic, seasonal, fresh foods in moderation. The fact that fruit is no longer a sweet enough desert for a lot of people is insane. But this is the world we live in and we need to work with it, not against it.

One of our biggest challenges is globalisation by a tribal species. We may not become one giant, homogeneous world culture and behave in all the same ways, but our species does depend on cooperation and we will all be better if we are surrounded by healthy, capable people.

Here’s what I think. You are not an addict. You are not out of control. You just have triggers because you are a human being with wants and needs. You are capable of creating your own reality because everything you want is available to you at all times. Give yourself some time to disassociate from your mental noise and connect with how you really feel. Be bigger than your pride and own up to your struggles, work through them and create a more robust understanding.

My hope is we help each other to embrace what is natural in this world and fight off all the toxins preventing us from being happy through support, education and (hopefully) a few laughs.

Understand your mind

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“The two most important days in your life, is the day you were born, and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain

Creating a friendly balance between the mind and body involves careful self-reflection. If we dig deep and share our experiences openly, we can be freed from the “glass cage of emotion” we impose on ourselves. Once we learn to let go a little, it can shine a light on what’s within our best interest and how to move forward positively.

One strategy used to achieve this high level of consciousness is through mindfulness. I’m not speaking about mindfulness in the traditional sense, but instead how to achieve total conscious awareness in the present moment via storytelling. Storytelling enables us to fully express ourselves through an emotional outlet that can be a catalyst for an incredible cathartic energy. So, to kick things off, let me tell you a story that is deeply personal, very honest and somewhat embarrassing…

Growing up in Australia taught me so many wonderful things that shaped the person I am today. I had the opportunity to think critically with some great minds but I never felt like I could explore the inner workings of my conscious awareness creatively. At a young age we only have so much space in our head for priorities and I can tell you right now mine were not in the correct order. I realise now that we can all use our mind to change the structure of our brain and how we choose to think. Through self-reflection our brain will be stronger and more integrated. It creates more and more links to positive memories, which help to shape all the decisions we make from today onwards. I absolutely love the way Forbes describes it here.

Because of this it was of the upmost importance to figure out what really made me tick. I knew that every cell in my body wanted to be a part of something that was fulfilling a greater purpose and helping to contribute to society in a positive manner. In order to truly allow myself the mental space and freedom to figure out what my next move was, I needed to completely throw myself into the unknown, free from expectation and influence. This led me to a very confronting but spectacular realisation, I needed to move overseas and given the commonwealth visa rules and its proximity to the beauty of Europe, London was my landing spot.

Moving to London was the best decision I ever made and in retrospect was the beginning of a new life. While there are many stories to be told about my early days in London, for the sake of time we are skipping ahead a year, when I was confronted with an entirely new challenge – my partner (who I met and started dating during that previously unmentioned year) was offered a life changing job opportunity. Only the job itself was based in San Francisco. After much deliberation it was decided there was no way he could pass it up. So in order for us to spend more time together, I decided to fly over with him with little to no idea as to what the plan was thereafter.

While I had a flight booked to go back to Australia a few short weeks out to spend time with my family, I was also uncertain of whether heading back to London would be a good idea or not as I still had a life going over there – my job was left open ended, I still had a phone plan, gym membership, friends, etc. Even with all of this was going on, the lingering thought I had daily was “How can I make the relationship with my partner work and still live the life we both desire?” I knew I wanted to be with him, but I also didn’t want either of us to put our life on hold. A few weeks into us being in SF, I was asked to do join him on a 15km hike to the Marin Headlands, during which, he proposed! It was at this point that I was hit with an unbelievable wave of excitement and a whole new set of questions to be answered.

As strange as it sounds, we both used to be somewhat commitment phobic. Our significant other may have actually been our personal assistant. If you are truly passionate about your job and work is like 80-90% of your life, your PA shares everything with you and you have all the same memories, so it’s basically the same thing, right? Naturally we were both quite hesitant to admit to ourselves that the idea of living a life without each other was impossible to imagine, even though that’s exactly how we felt. It’s bitter sweet really, because you feel an enormous sense of vulnerability and comfort all at once. So, what does this mean now? We have obviously spent a significant amount of time since trying to find a way to stay together! I gained a ring and lost my power, it was the opposite of Lord of the Rings. I am not allowed to live or work in the USA until an adjustment of status is processed. On the flip side, it’s given me a lot of time to be very contemplative and I have realised a few things along the way I would love to share.

First, I just want to point out that just because I don’t emphasise the heartache, doesn’t mean there wasn’t any. Discontent can be a catalyst for disconnection. If you’re aware that something is temporary and you’re waiting for something great to happen, it’s hard to give your all to the present moment. You feel like you’re always looking for something and never really “in” your life. Plus, deciding suddenly that you are going to set up a new life for yourself in another country (again) doesn’t necessarily sit well with those closest to you. Most will be happy for you and supportive, but they are going to have their moments of wanting you to come home. This was my greatest challenge. I had to prove to myself and others that I made the right choice by taking a risk and embracing the unknown full throttle, while showing that it provided the fulfilment I had long been seeking and I would miss everyone greatly and I wasn’t just off to live a new life without them. Sometimes you may not know the outcome. Yet you just have to try anyway. I had to accept that initially my hubris made the situation all about me, when I should have also practiced extreme empathy for others because they were going through all their own stuff too.

This led to another major challenge, trying to find a way to be more conscious and build resilience while mired in ambiguity. Sometimes to do what you want to do, you have to do what you don’t want to do. In other words, discipline is key. I think when we are kids, we are bossed around all the time being told what to do. Then we all go through a period when our ego develops and we recognise that our parents and teachers aren’t always right and they make mistakes too. This transitions into that fun period when we think we know it all. As we all know mistakes are made, and a lot of (hopefully) lessons are cultivated. Past this point, we need to find a balance between the two: doing what we want and also what we don’t want, enabling us to where we need to be. Perhaps the sooner we recognise that perhaps we are all inherently emotional learners, is the quicker path to achieving access to our inner workings. We don’t necessarily need a solution to all our problems, we just need to learn to ask a question or two, to get ourselves and others thinking.

Even though the situation over the past few months has been a cluster fuck of emotions full of the most amazing, scary, life changing memories, I’m honestly 100% a better person for it.

When you travel all the differences you experience from being out of your comfort zone are extremely confronting, yet the more places you experience and exposure you gain, you realise there are actually more similarities than differences. The quintessential way of life in San Francisco is forward thinking and entrepreneurial, which provides the space required for innovation and change to breathe. This was exactly what I needed at this point in my life for the reasons I described above (I may also feel the same way about other parts of the world, now that I’ve opened my mind to new experiences and are looking through a new lens). The moment I realised the world and I don’t owe each other anything, was the moment I saw that I need to be the one to create the change I want to see in myself and also in my relationships with others. You can sit on your ass and wonder what the point of it all is OR you can choose to give back to the world and try for something, admit that you’re vulnerable, that you care and that you’re passionate, and just to TRY despite being aware of all the risk involved.

Change shouldn’t solely be viewed through an optimistic lens. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s bad. Usually it’s both. But we have to make time for all the things we love and practice being better at them, whether it’s being the healthiest and happiest version of yourself, the most loving partner, friend, daughter you can be or giving 100% of your work ethic to the table every day.

My story doesn’t have an end as of now so to speak. August 13th I landed in San Francisco thinking I would be leaving 1.5 months later for either Melbourne or London. Now? We are trying to figure out how to setup our new life together here. All I know at this point is that I’m embracing the thought process, the learnings and self-reflection to grow and continue on the path towards finding be the happiest and healthiest version of myself. It feels super empowering to write this stuff down and share it with whoever wants to read, now all I can do is encourage you to do that same and experience the catharsis that vulnerability can bring.

Delightful alcoholic indulgences

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“Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company” – Mark Twain

My circle of concern for this notion is getting smaller by the day (shout out to Louis CK for this commentary). But it’s a hot topic, so I do have an opinion on it.

But seriously Louis CK is hilarious, here is a link to one of his video’s: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sA38IUPN6o

So back to booze – Basically anything in high consumption has the ability to induce weight gain. However, the calorie in a cheeky beverage is not the same as a calorie in a nutrient dense meal. All calories are technically the same amount of energy, but they all have vastly different effects on your hunger, hormones and energy expenditure.

Personally, if I drink more than two alcoholic drinks on an empty stomach my appetite control switch decides to take a vacation and I end up eating everything in sight, and quickly. So I try to make sure I eat properly that day to avoid overeating.

There are two very important things to be mindful of:

1. Number of drinks consumed

2. What food you eat while drinking alcohol

There is controversial research out there discussing all the ways the body is effected by alcohol, i.e some say insulin sensitivity increases, while others say the opposite. An overarching belief that I feel is most helpful without getting too nitty gritty, is that it’s better to eat food with alcohol – it will help prevent the alcohol from rushing to your blood stream quickly. The type of food consumed should be high protein/veg, low carb/fat. This is because protein is satiating and has muscle sparing properties that won’t impact muscle fatigue as much (prevents additional muscle soreness, limited negative effect on training performance the next day, reducing feel of “sluggishness”).

Bottom line: You can be healthy inside and out while having a moderate consumption of alcohol in your diet (YAY!).

Beat the age monster!

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“Don’t give a voice to the things you can’t change” – unknown

“Yes, hello, I’m looking for a moisturiser that hides the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010”.

The correlation drawn between age and its effect on achieving health/fitness goals are influenced by a variety of covariates. What this means, is some people’s level of fitness/physique/energy levels/muscle composition etc may be disrupted as they get older because of a number of lifestyle changes. For some, it may be very difficult to find the time to hit the gym or pre-plan meals. For others, they may not be able to get outside as much because of their desk job or family commitments.

What this all means is the metabolism does not slow down so dramatically that it becomes impossible to be as fit and healthy – this is good news !!! If the metabolism is slowed it is generally caused by the loss of lean muscle mass. Research is consistently demonstrating that as people age they are moving less and eating the same-ish,which means energy expenditure and muscle mass decreases and fat weight gain can be triggered. So basically, maintaining or gaining lean muscle mass through exercise combined with a healthy, mindful diet is the way to go.

The truth is, we never stop benefiting from a healthy lifestyle. We all have the power to combat the challenges we face as we age and can choose to be fit and healthy for as long as possible!

Coffee talk

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“Be what you already are” – unknown

Mad props to all those health advocates who discuss coffee in their work.

If you’re a health conscious person who loves a cuppa or five a day but are unsure of whether it’s good for you on not, you’ve come to the right place!

I don’t think a “one size fits all” approach should be applied to everyone regarding the actual amount of caffeine that is okay to consume.  Coffee is a bit like alcohol and it varies from person to person. For example, if you ever get the caffeine sweats, experience heart palpitations or hit a slump 30-60 minutes after consumption, you’re probably having a bit too much!!! Whether the coffee is “healthy” also depends how you have it. A black coffee is obviously better than a latte with 7 teaspoons of sugar.

However, The BEST NEWS EVER suggests that a couple of cups a day has a bunch of health benefits, such as:

– Assisting with post-workout muscle pain

– Adding fibre to your diet

– Stimulating energy, mood and cognitive functioning

– Boosting metabolic processes (helps burn fat)

– Improving physical performance

– Acting as an antioxidant supplement

– Containing essential nutrients; Vitamins B12/B5, Manganese, Potassium, Magnesium and Niacin

– Helping to lower your risk of various diseases / illness’s i.e Type II Diabetes, Alzheimer’s, dementia, Parkinson’s, some types of cancers

Currently I have 2 cups of coffee a day. I used to drink it with honey instead of white sugar, but after doing the 40-hour famine I switched to black and I couldn’t go back! It’s far less addictive without the sugar and it tastes so much stronger so I don’t feel the need to have them every hour on the hour.  Happy days!

Aim to have more, more and more!

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“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” – Spencer Johnson

I really want to get you guys thinking about all the things you can have in order to become the healthiest version of yourself. We all have tendencies to run ourselves into shitville and then want a quick fix to get us looking and feeling at an optimal level ASAP. I’m a strong believer in balance and long-term change that is both enjoyable and sustainable. So let’s talk about how to treat yourself in the best possible fashion so you can feel positivity and progress on a daily basis.

Firstly, it’s really important that you all know that you’re not doing yourself any favours by focusing on what you can’t have/don’t have. For example, I recommend against food planning around restrictions and instead think about the huge variety of food you can indulge in and enjoy in a guilt-free manner. Ask yourself if your meal contains all essential vitamins and minerals so you can sleep better, stabilise your mood, increase energy levels, prepare you for a killer gym workout etc etc. If it doesn’t, you need to eat more of the right nutrient dense foods. Aim to have more; more muscle, more green juices, more sleep, more water, more protein, more healthy fats, whatever it is that get’s you excited! Focus on what you can have more of and stop punishing yourself and setting a bunch of rules around all the things you can’t do.

I want to point out that there is a big difference between appetite and hunger. Appetite is the desire to eat or drink and generally not influenced by a physical response to needing food in that moment. It can be triggered by your senses; the sight or smell of something delicious for example. It can also be triggered by the availability of food or even the temperature around you. Appetite is a thing that happens purely because it’s putting in place the pleasure and anticipation for your next meal. Whereas, experiencing actual hunger is your body telling you it’s time to eat.

I used to eat like a retard. I believed eating 5-6 meals a day and working out 7 days a week, sometimes twice a day, was the best method to rev up my metabolism and get super lean. Truth is, I was hungry all the fucking time because I was exercising so much and my body got used to eating from the moment I woke up to the moment I slept. I hand to heart believed I had to eat within 30 minutes of waking up or my body would begin to eat itself. I always had snacks on me and having two breakfasts was not uncommon. This is a ridiculous way to live people!!

It’s not a bad thing to let yourself feel hungry for a little while, you are not going to die. I used to have this massive fear that getting hungry would produce hangry-ness to the point where isolation might be necessary. Perhaps for some people they’re afraid that hunger might trigger an uncontrollable eating rampage, which sounds glorious until it happens, the fog clears and our rational brain hates us. Others may imagine they are loosing hard earned muscle mass and envision it disintegrating by the minute. I can tell you right now, it’s not harmful for you to feel hungry momentarily as long as you are eating enough throughout the day overall. Hunger get’s you in tune with what your body actually needs as opposed to just what it wants in a fleeting moment.

Building trust and confidence in yourself to not spin out of control has a much more powerful long-term influence compared to eating all the time as a preventative measure to feeling fear, discomfort or anxiety. It can be so empowering to self-experiment like this because it can shine a light on what you are really struggling with internally and open you up to experience powerful change that is really liberating.

Lastly, if someone else lost their appetite and you’re thinking you’ve found it, something else might be going on for you. Instead of actual hunger, you might be thirsty! To figure it out in the moment, I find it helps to imagine drinking a litre of water and seeing how that sits with you. If you think you can easily do it and the thought makes you feel really good then you are probably thirsty. Think about it, if you are “full” but still feeling hunger, the idea of having so much water would be really uncomfortable. Also, it’s not a bad idea to drink water prior to a meal anyway to curb how much you eat (water can be a great hunger suppressant). Another option could be to think about it practically; Do you have a dry mouth? Do you have a headache? Do you feel fatigued? All these can be symptoms of dehydration. Don’t be afraid to up your water intake.

Pause.

Isn’t it funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible sometimes but 2 cocktails, 5 gnt’s and 3 shots in the space of a few hours is a no brainer ?

Moving on.

I love to have a glass or two of water before I eat so I don’t stuff my face unnecessarily. I also love to follow my meals up with a hot peppermint tea and/or to aid digestion and improve blood circulation. Knowing you have to drink all that liquid makes you think twice about eating the extras.